The Saddest Word I've Ever Heard

One of my more difficult classes this year has been my 3D. They are a lot of loud boys who are sarcastic, speak their mind, and can never seem to settle down in the course of a 45-minute lesson. One of the boys even came up to me for a private word earlier in the year and said very bluntly, "We're bored." I didn't think it was possible to ever win them over.

I tried to make the lessons a little more interesting for them, and I tried to change the way I viewed them. Instead of looking at them as restless boys incapable of respecting me, I began to see them for who they really were. They are simply boys with a lot of energy, and they have proven themselves to be very creative when given the opportunity. Slowly, I began to see that they didn't disrespect me- they were merely being what they are- teenaged boys.

My last assignment of the year was to create a play and act it out in class. Today they surprised me by their enthusiasm for the project. They acted out some scenes from, "The Wizard of Oz" and dressed according to their roles. Songs from the movie version were replaced with raps instead, and overall it was very amusing.

I wasn't prepared for what came next. After it was all over, Marek handed me a copy of their play, the movie "The Wizard of Oz", and a bottle of champagne, and Jakub said, "Thank you for teaching us this year." And then they started clapping.

I wish I had had some eloquent speech prepared. But truth be told, I am awful with "Goodbye". I almost started to cry. I think my face formed some sort of expression which indicated deep sadness, and all I could say was, "It was a pleasure teaching you." Jakub responded sarcastically, knowing they were bad, and said, "Yeah, sure!" And I said, "No, it was."

"Goodbye" is the saddest word ever spoken or written. There is so much pain in it, so much longing, and perhaps, disappointment over never-realized dreams.

Love Letter

I recently wrote one of my classes a goodbye letter. I have had 17 classes this year, and they have all had such different personalities, and it would be impossible to truly connect with all of them. However, some I became closer to than others. 3A is the class that I bonded with the most, and even though I came here to teach, they are the ones that have taught me. They have given me many lessons in love this year, they have taught me how to enjoy the most commonplace activities, and dare I say, I think they have helped loosen up this tightly-wound girl (just a little!) Here is the letter I wrote them:

My Precious 3A,

I want to leave you something to remember me by, and since I enjoy writing, I thought that leaving you my words was the best gift I could give. Each time I write something, whether it is a letter to a friend or a page in my own personal journal, I pour my heart into it, and this is no different.

I am sometimes asked by colleagues and students why I came to the Czech Republic. The first reason is a very practical one: I knew there was a need for native English speakers to teach overseas, and having majored in English, I thought perhaps I could help fulfill that need. The second reason is that I love people, and I really looked forward to getting to know my students before I ever even arrived here. The third reason, which really is the first, is that I believe God called me here. I know many of you may not believe in God, and I have no wish to offend you, but if I didn’t tell you that it was God who brought me here, I wouldn’t be telling you the whole story.

It wasn’t easy for me to leave home. Remember the poem, “The Road Not Taken,” which we talked about in class? When I made the decision to come here, I felt like two paths were staring me in the face: one was the easy path, which was staying at home where it was safe, and the other was the more difficult path, the path that was less traveled, and therefore, “wanted wear”. This path was much scarier, because I didn’t know anything about living in a foreign country. I had many fears before I ever even got onto the airplane, and overcoming those fears was not an easy thing, and it was something I was only able to do with God.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by…” In the end, I knew I didn’t really want the easy path, because I knew it wouldn’t challenge me, and consequently, it would never satisfy. Leaving the comforts of home and the things that were familiar to me perhaps was difficult, but it was well worth it, because I was able to come here and meet all of you.

You have been such a joy to me. The good times we have shared in class together are priceless memories that I will carry with me my whole life. I am still laughing over your brilliant political parties, plays, advertisements, etc. You have made teaching so much fun! When I gave you assignments, you always went above and beyond what I asked you to do, and I found myself delightfully shocked by your display of creativity and intelligence over and over again. Out of all of my classes this year, you are the class that I have bonded with the most, and therefore, it is very hard to leave you.

“And that has made all the difference.” I am quite content with the path I chose, and I am going home with a heart that is deeper and wider than when I left… and in my heart is a place for all of you. Please believe me when I say that I will never forget you, and in the months ahead I will be reaching through my memories to see your smiles and hear your laughter once again.

Your last assignment this: e-mail me in the months ahead and let me know how you are doing! I also have one more thing to ask of you. I don’t know what your beliefs are about God, but I encourage you not to close yourself off completely to Him. Even if you are open just a little bit, it is enough for Him to show you how real He is.

I will continue to think of you and pray for you often.

Love always,

Courtney Scianna

I received a response via text message from one of my students, Marketa, who has become a very dear friend to me. This is what she said:

Dear Courtney,
I thank you deeply and from my whole heart for your beautiful letter. I know the feeling when you have to leave your beloved. I want you to know that you are a special and precious person to me and I can feel how big influence people have on each other and believe me the door is always opened for you. I'm thankful for your prayers and for your heart you've offered us... :)

With love,
your Marketa

Almost Over

One minute I’m strolling through castles, the next I am canoeing down rivers, and still after that I am picnicking with students. My life is full to overflowing these days, with more adventures than some people know in a lifetime, and all of the love my heart can hold.

My fellow teachers and I recently attended our last official meeting together, and it was an intense time for me. After taking communion together, praying, and singing worship songs, I finally was able to cry. It was one of those sobs that came from deep within, like my spirit just burst open and whatever was inside desperately made its way out. Forgive me for the drama. I feel things more intently than the average person. I cried because of THEM, those precious hearts that I love so much, those faces I have already begun saying goodbye to, those smiles I do not know when I shall see again. I cried because I will no longer be a part of their lives, and that saddens me more than I can say.

But life is always moving, my friends, and the things that sadden us today don’t have to tomorrow. As I sat with my favorite class during the picnic that they made for me, I started to get emotional. But I said out loud to them, “No. No sadness today. Today I am just going to enjoy you.” And I did.

This past weekend I went canoeing with my friends in Cesky Krumlov, and when I tell you that this is the most romantic town I’ve ever seen, you will know I am not exaggerating. It was my first-ever time canoeing, and I was pretty proud of myself. I found that I could endure more physically than I thought I could.

I leave Prague two weeks from this Friday. It’s so strange. I used to try to imagine what I would feel like at this time- a year’s worth of hard work just about done, and the view of home in sight. I thought I’d be so impatient for it to be over… but I was wrong. There’s something about this place. When you come here and stay a while, it just becomes a part of you, and leaving is not something you are looking forward to; it’s just something you accept.

ESI Czech Republic team 2005-2006. Notice the random little boy at the far right. He is not associated with us in any way. I guess he wanted to join our photo!

This picture is out of order chronologically- this was during the canoe trip. Phoebe, me, Sarah, and Laura.

Picnicking with 3A. They told me about the picnic beforehand, but I thought being teenagers, they might forget, so I was sure to bring homemade cookies. But not to worry! They came equipped with champagne, strawberries, chips, and other yummies.

I think this picture is so funny. It looks sketchy, but if you knew Adam, you'd know that he is just crazy.

My favorite class on our last day together, 3A. My boys, Adam and Ondrej insisted on picking me up though I tried to protest, and threw a straw hat on me to boot.

Cesky Krumlov. This is only a small part of its charm and romantic beauty.

My friend Karen and I canoeing down the Vltava River. I'm thinking of trying out for the Olympic team.

The Inevitable Tears to Come

In my favorite class only moments ago, my precious 3A, my students "invited" me to the "Seeing Off" party/picnic they are apparently throwing for me next week. When they said this, I of course, did what I usually do, I melted into butter and said, "Ooooooh!" I thought I had the whole month left with them, but it seems as though next Friday is their last English class due to school field trips and whatnot.

The tears haven't come yet. They are close. My eyes are getting ready for the big explosion that is bound to happen soon.

It is so hard knowing that I am deliberately walking away from dozens of people that I am crazy about.

This particular class is filled with extremely bright and creative students. Every assignment I give them, they give me back 120%. They always go above and beyond what I ask them to do. They are the only class I in which I can get fluent English conversation all the time. They are incredibly hard-working, they find fun in every project, and they do everything with passion and zeal. In many classes there are students that complain, but not this group. And to top it all off, I have a great relationship with them.

I taught them a lesson on advertising, and I had them create a product and an advertisement for that product, and they had to try to sell their product in front of the class. The selling part of the project would maybe take 15 minutes at the most in my other classes... for this class it took 40 minutes because they like to do their job thoroughly.

After they told me about the "Seeing Off" party, I found it difficult to concentrate even though their projects were brilliant and funny, and my eyes wandered adoringly from time to time, gazing on each one, and hating the fact that this is soon coming to an end.